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Scatotheology
(Religious Shit Happens)
Agnosticism
I don't know whether shit happens or not.
Apathism
I don't care if shit happens.
Atheism
There IS no shit.
Baha'i
Shit happens to everyone equally.
Baptist
Gonna wash this shit right outta my hair!
Branch Davidianism
This shit really burns me up.
Buddhism
If shit happens, is it really shit?
Calvinism
Shit won't happen if you work harder.
Cartesianism
I think, therefore shit happens.
Catholicism
If Shit happens, you deserve it.
Channeling
Now happening as Shit.
Christian Science
Shit only happens within your mind.
Church of England
Excrement transpires.
Church of the Sub-Genius
Well, shit, Bob!
Confucianism
Confucius say, "shit happens."
Druidism
Shit happens in the woods.
Episcopalianism
Shit happened to my ancestors.
Evangelism
Will you accept shit happening into your heart?
Existentialism
What is the meaning of shit, anyway?
Fundamentalist
Convert to this shit or burn in some kind of hell.
Heaven's Gate
Eat this shit and see the stars.
Hedonism
There is nothing like a good shit happening.
Hinduism
This shit has happened before.
Islam
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam, Shi-ite
If Shit happens, take a hostage.
Jehovah's Witnesses
Knock, knock... shit happens.
Jim Jones
Drink this shit and die.
Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Mensa
The top 2% of shit happening.
Latter-day Saints
Shit happens again and again and again.
Lutheranism
Here shit happens; God help me, I can do no other.
Methodism
Shit happens; support group available.
Moonies
Only happy shit really happens.
Mormonism
You must look closely at the turd.
New Age
Shit is the Goddess.
Nihilism
No shit!
Paganism
Earth, air, fire, water, shit.
Presbyterianism
This shit happens to be too dear.
Protestantism
Let shit happen to somebody else.
Psychic
Saw shit coming; got hit from behind.
Puritanism
Shit happens with our permission.
Quaker
Get thy shit together, Friend.
Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit.
Rationalist
What is this shit?
Roman Catholicism
Christ died for your shit.
Santeria
Don't even THINK of shitting on me!
Satanism
Shit is the best part.
Schroedingerism
Shit does not happen until you observe it.
Scientific Methodism
Skatole-bearing anomalies materialize.
Scientology
Does shit happen? (See page 469).
Shintoism
Farts happen.
Seventh Day Adventism
No shit happens on Saturdays.
Southern Baptist
We don't like this shit. We're gonna boycott it.
Stoicism
This shit happens to be good for me.
Taoism
Shit happens.
Televangelism
Send all your money or shit will happen.
Transcendental Meditation
7000 meditators make harmonious shit happen.
Unitarianism
Shit happens; discussion at 2:00 pm.
United Church of Canada
Let us all share equally in shit happening.
Weight Watchers
You pay for excess shit at weigh-in.
Wicca
Shit happens to be good fertilizer.
Zen
What is the sound of shit happening?
Zoroastrianism
Shit happens half the time. |
MY WITCH SHOP
