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Redneck Astrological Signs
Okra December 22 - January 20
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra have tremendous
influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence
everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
Chitlin January 21 - February 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're uncomfortable talking
about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's
motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very
careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls
around.
Boll Weevil February 20 - March 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you
feel the needto bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you arevery
intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to
marry you, so don't worry about it.
Moon Pie March 21 - April 20
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize
the physical appearance of Moon Pies. "Big" and "round" are the key
words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's
not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.
Possum April 21 - May 21
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and
develop a "don't-bother-me-about-it" attitude. Sometimes you become so
withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not
psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work, and
you may find your problems actually running you over.
Crawfish May 22 - June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water
cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the
bathtubto the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.
Collards June 22 - July 23
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot"
of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good
social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes,
if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of
heartache.
Catfish July 24 - August 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may
cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer
the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away
from Moon Pies.
Grits August 24 - September 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a
big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about
joininga club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or
butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you
well.
Boiled Peanuts September 24 - October 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you
best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and
their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than
you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain
way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always
pull over andstop for you.
Butter Bean October 24 - November 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a
Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no
matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have
anything to do with Moon Pies.
Armadillo November 23 - December 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good
evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a
throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned
with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior
patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating
possibility. |
MY WITCH SHOP
