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If Religion Dealt With Toys
Capitalism ~ He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna ~ He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism ~ He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican ~ They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox ~ No, they were OURS first.
Branch Davidians ~ He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Atheism ~ There is no toy maker.
Polytheism ~ There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism ~ The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ, Scientist ~ We are the toys.
Communism ~ Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch
you selling yours.
B'Hai ~ All toys are just fine with us.
Amish ~ Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism ~ The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism ~ Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Voodoo ~ Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hedonism ~ To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
Hinduism ~ He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
7th Day Adventist ~ He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Church of Christ ~ He whose toys make music, loses.
Baptist ~ Once played, always played.
Jehovah's Witnesses ~ He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism ~ He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism ~ Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism ~ Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism ~ We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
Agnosticism ~ It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Apathy ~ Toys? What do I need toys for?
Judaism ~ I'm selling. You buying?
First Kinky Church ~ You bet your ass we got Toys.
First American Church ~ We play Only with cowboy toys.
Church of Scientology ~ Toys 'R Us. |