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The Charge of the Credit Card Goddess
Listen to the words of the Great Mall Mother, who of old was called Bargain Basement
Shopper, Flea Market Browser, and The Half-Off Sale Spotter: "Whenever you have need
of anything, or simply have an irresistible urge to spend money, once a month, or more
often if your credit limit permits, and better it be when your charge card isn't
overextended, you shall assemble in a huge place called The Mall, to adore the Spirit of
Spending, AKA The Great Mall Mother. You shall be free to charge as much as you want, and
as a sign that you be free, you shall have Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Sears, and
J.C.Penney cards at your fingertips. Charge pagan CD's, charge herbs, candles, and Tarot
cards, charge chocolate, charge anything that shall bring you ecstasy of the spirit and
make your life more joyous on earth. For my law is CHARGE EVERYTHING! The charge card is
the secret that opens the doors of all the shops in the mall. The Cauldron of Credit is
the Holy Grail of unlimited spending and high finance charges. It gives knowledge of
eternal debt in exchange for the freedom to buy what you want even when you can't afford
it. It brings reunion with all your friends and neighbors who've also come unto the mall
to use their plastic. Nor do I demand aught of sacrifice, except that you shall deposit
your entire paycheck in the bank to cover your credit card bills, for behold, I am the
bringer of all material things, and my account number, expiration date, and credit limit
are poured out to all who apply and are found to qualify. |
